Saturday 9 August 2008

Please may I have....

It's my birthday on Tuesday, I am going to be 21 AGAIN, how weird is that I am actually coming to the end of my 2nd 21 years.

Usually I've got an idea of what I want for my birthday, it's fair to say it usually involves jewellery of the silver colour (Tiffany is the drug of choice)and I am partial to a new handbag (Prada, please) but I've no particular covet this year but feel free to surprise me.

What I would really really like is

My house to be properly cleaned from top to bottom (windows, cupboards, under the beds, oh horror of horrors...the oven !!)

My ongoing Rarpa file to be done and sent back (very boring paperwork file that will take me 10 hours to do as I have ignored it for the whole year instead of doing it as I went along)

My tax return to be filled in and dealt with, I have to fill in a self assessment, a foreign and an employed section and the calculations on how many nights I personally have spent in the villa makes me need a big drink.

My divorce to be filed

My pile of clothes that are awaiting going to the dry cleaners, being hemmed, having buttons sewn back on etc etc being dealt with

The inevitable back to school shopping hell done for me

I would like my neck kissed thoroughly and then all the way down my spine

I would like breakfast in bed

After reading this back, I now realise that what I would like for my birthday is someone to help me do all the things in my life I can't be arsed to do for myself. I know what they're called, in fact I used to be one before I retired. What I am looking for, my dear reader, is a wife !!!!!

Any takers ?


Laura said...

Sorry I won't offer to clean you house. The reason why I'm still at home is my mum does all the housework :O)

p.s Veggie haggis

auntiegwen said...

Laura - call yourself a friend ?

Squirmy Popple said...

Happy almost birthday!

I've been putting off my self-assessment tax return too. I've never done one before and it terrifies me.

Anonymous said...

Awww...happy, happy birthday! It's a great list! If you find someone to kiss your neck thoroughly, will you send them across the pond when they're done. It's not my birthday, but that would make a hella nice back to school gift!

Dusty Spider said...

Sorry still too busy training 'im indoors.....may have time when he's taken over all the chores though...(some chance I hear you say) Flick xx

Gorilla Bananas said...

What you need is a couple of chimpanzees to do your chores. Wives are for making love to. Perhaps you need to spend some quality time with us gorillas.

indigo16 said...

Happy Birthday for tomorrow.
My ape is no help at all, he creates more than he clears. I recently signed up for online everything, now I do not have to hide/bin my paperwork, just forget the password!

Working Mum said...

It's my birthday soon, too so if you find one, will let you let me know where? Preferably one that can decorate as well.

Happy Birthday for Tuesday!

auntiegwen said...

Katie - I hate doing mine

Lisa - I will try my very hardest to get someone to kiss your neck

Flick - if you can't train your husband, have I any chance training The Beautiful Children ?

Mr Gorilla - thank you for dropping in and adding a Simian slant to the blog, very happy to spend some time with you and your fellow gorillas

Alison - I do do stuff online but if you earn money from overseas you have to do a paper tax return because the computer(and the Inland Revenue) said so

WM - If I find myself a wife I will definitely tell you where to get one too, promise

scrappysue said...

you're 21? i'm 23!!! it's magical the way you start counting back from 40 isn't it? yes - every mother needs a wife - i've always said that. just divide your list into smaller lists to make it more management. i'm guessing tho, that you would rather the fairies come in and do it all - making the need for lists redundant!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY - HAVE ONE (or 3) for me!

auntiegwen said...

Sue - I would love the fairies to come in and sort it !!!! how did you know ?

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Your Birthday list sounds just perfect. I always used to say I needed a wife too - though now I'm rather glad I haven't got one. It might complicate things 10 years on! They do say "be careful what you wish for". M :-)
PS Very Happy Birthday Wishes for tomorrow.

auntiegwen said...

Margot - thanks for the birthday wishes. I have a nasty feeling that even still in 10 years time my procrastination will be omnipresent and I'll still want someone to do all my stuff for me