Tuesday 8 December 2009

Cheap Laughs

Would you like to hear what made your auntie laugh out loud in a slightly bitter and ironic fashion, for a long time in a "this is the real deal, I've had 3 kids and my pelvic floor's not what it was" kinda way?

Read on, for your auntie will lay a wee funny upon you, unselfish to my very core, public spirited to the last.

auntiegwen's solicitor " Can I ask if you have any plans to remarry?"

Insert ironic and slightly hysterical laughter accesorised by incredulous facial expression, the "You've gotta be kidding me" look here.

Abso feckin lutely, this divorce hasn't put me off men or marriage in the slightest. I can't wait to do it all again. I am an avid subscriber to "Bridezilla" and my omnipresent Pollyanna hasn't had a dent in her.

And I didn't even charge you the £165 it cost me to hear that.

What a gal.


Anonymous said...

Ah, Gwennie - do I get to be first??!

I shall be thinking of you at Chrimbo in the Motherland, being pampered as only you deserve to be...

And your workplace, I think I know your colleagues, but I can raise you a control-freak fifty-plusser boss, who's never grown up, who keeps her mobile in her bra in case her parents die while she's at work, and who micro-manages every inch of my job because she's not grown up enough to do her own... Bitchy, moi??! (It's Fhi by the way!)

Love you, babes, take care, xox

scrappysue said...

your lawyer's a woman? i hope you bitch slapped her good

libby said...

y'know if I had a spare £165 I'd let you have it and say 'pay the bastard...enjoy the laugh...and although you dont plan to ever marry again, after all who would, try not to give up on love...'

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

How could a complex, witty, beautiful wee hen like you not get married again? But in all reality, Solicitor's do mostly get to see the bitter end of marriage in all its vitriolic, acidic awfulness in their offices daily. Who can blame them for being Jaded. Your solicitor clearly failed to see one of life's catches bobbing along in life, hoping, waiting patiently for the right one to sweep her off her feet! But I hope you're hanging on in there for one with pots of dosh - always a plus doncha think?!

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that wasn't an offer?

Nota Bene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

That's the way!

Working Mum said...

Just been catching up on your last few posts. I agree entirely about Toblerone being irrestistible at those prices - crimianal not to partake!

Christmas at your parents' does sound good. It's always good to go home and be the child again.

And as for marrying again; it made me think of that question they ask after you've had a baby - I said "No way, never again, not in a million years!"

auntiegwen said...

Fhi - hello dearie, ah the joy of middle aged lady bosses, we should form a club.

Sue - apparently lots of people get divorced and then remarried straight after, I think she was just checking the timescale.

Libby - I'm truly not bitter and we have been apart for years but even so it's been more emotionally upsetting than I would have imagined.

Mobs - when I hear about all the lovely people (your good self included) who have been very happily remarried I do think it would be nice but in time definitely not at this moment.

Mud - didn't think of that, we wouldn't be poor at £165 an hour!

Secretia - yep, my inner Pollyanna just keeps bouncing back

WM - scarily I did do that 3 times though !!!!!!