auntiegwen's top laughs of the week

This week has been a bit of a roller coaster emotionally with the departure of Eldest Beautiful Daughter so any little light relief has been greatly welcomed. As you know I live in a house full of comedians, this is the only thing that stops me running away. So, in no particular order the things that made me chuckle are

The Beautiful Son

As EBD has been at home sans work for 3 months she had taken over loads of the housework. On being told he would have to help out with the cleaning as EBD has gone, the bold boy has got himself a paper round. To pay for a cleaner. I kid you not.

Hot Boy

After a slight disagreement with EBD, she smacked him one, playfully. He came in to me and complained about her behaviour. He wanted me to make her write an apology to his future wife explaining why they wouldn't be able to have children. He went on to clarify that it was his favourite testicle that she'd hurt. The one that hangs lower than the other, apparently that's the good one. Who knew you could have a favourite?

Also, I do want to tell you about his cure for the glums but this is a family blog and it might upset you. Hot Boy is a massive giver of too much information.

Beautiful Baby Daughter

Sobbed her heart out all the way home from dropping EBD off. When we arrived home she went and lay on EBD's bed. 10 minutes later she appeared in the lounge wearing EBD's coat and her black patent leather shoe boots. Having full and unrestricted access to all EBD's clothes she can't take to uni (tiny wardrobes) is a great cure for BBD's glums. Cheered her right up.

Eldest Beautiful Daughter

Her facebook status at 3.30am today read...

the walls are so thin in this flat I can hear the guy upstairs chucking up. lovely.

Get used to it, sweetie, I'm sure it will be a recurring theme.

The ex mr auntiegwen

Offered the daughters chewing gum in his car yesterday. Sore point as I don't allow it and also that BBD was caught chewing it at school (also not allowed) and got a detention. Even though I pointed all this out, the gum was still proffered with a cheeky grin.

Which very quickly disappeared when I took it from his hands and threw it out his car window.

Cheap Laughs

Would you like to hear what made your auntie laugh out loud in a slightly bitter and ironic fashion, for a long time in a "this is the real deal, I've had 3 kids and my pelvic floor's not what it was" kinda way?

Read on, for your auntie will lay a wee funny upon you, unselfish to my very core, public spirited to the last.

auntiegwen's solicitor " Can I ask if you have any plans to remarry?"

Insert ironic and slightly hysterical laughter accesorised by incredulous facial expression, the "You've gotta be kidding me" look here.

Abso feckin lutely, this divorce hasn't put me off men or marriage in the slightest. I can't wait to do it all again. I am an avid subscriber to "Bridezilla" and my omnipresent Pollyanna hasn't had a dent in her.

And I didn't even charge you the £165 it cost me to hear that.

What a gal.