Wednesday 1 August 2007

The Beautiful Car

I have fessed up several times that I am a tad technophobic, ok I have the technological capabilities of a baby giraffe. I have never fessed up that I have the car knowledge of a baby giraffe also. My nearest and dearest aren't too impressed with my driving either but I have a full no claims discount so I can't be that bad. However I will admit that the only technical thing I can do with regards to my car is put petrol in and change the cd.I am quite girly when it comes to cars, I don't really know much about any kind of cars except that I hate BMW's and I think that their drivers are the worst on the road, I do love my car though, it is a little black A class Mercedes, and I think it is the very best car in the world, it doesn't have a name though, I'm not that girly. It never lets me down, it's high up off the road which makes it easier for me to see as I am only 5 foot 3 and it's easy to park. In short it's perfect.

Today, as is my want , I swanned off to Starbucks for lunch. I was extremely happy, quite a good compilation cd that Eldest Beautiful Daughter made me, not my best one but I very foolishly lent it out and in return got the Maximo Park cd, that was a crap swap. Anyway I digress, the sun was shining, I was driving along quite happily, 2nd best cd on till I get to Starbucks. My local is attached to a Borders Bookstore, I was a wee bit early so I browsed around and bought The Beautiful Man the new Ian Rankin thriller as tomorrow he goes away on holiday, see what a nice, kind considerate sort I am, I am so considerate I very carefully chose 1 from the back that hadn't been handled too much, as TBM can't read books anyone else has read before him, even me, he doesn't like pages to have been touched by anyone else and he can't do hardbacks. Even though I have that very book at home that he could borrow, I still bought him his very own untouched copy and then went straight out to the car to put it in the boot, as unsullied as possible.

As I walked towards the car I noticed a puddle underneath it, quite a large puddle. Oh God no, my car's incontinent, I got down on the ground and looked underneath, I have no idea what I 'm looking for or any clue what to do but feel I should look underneath. A bloke comes over and peers underneath and informs me that my radiator is leaking. This sounds expensive to me, probably on the Gucci bag type scale of expense. Not quite as bad as my credit card bill at £2000 - yes that is for 1 feckin month but certainly on a par with TBM phone bill ( which was HORRENDOUS, but he will kill me if I fess that up). I feel slightly panicky, just at that TBM arrives, I show him the puddle and being the company car driver he is and the very successful management consultant ( for that read delegator) and he tells me to phone the garage. I'm extremely pleased to know that I have the number in my phone, so I ring the nice man at the garage and he advises me to open the bonnet, check the water and top it up if necessary. TBM asks what the garage suggests and not wanting to appear too shallow/girly/incompetent as I realise I don't know how to open the bonnet never mind check the fluid level so I tell him I've got to bring the car in. It did cross my mind if the cheapest option would be to catheterise it myself.

After a very long lunch, I drive like a granny to the garage as I'm terrified that the car will overheat and grind to a halt and everyone will get cross with me for holding them up. When I get there the nice man asks me if I topped up the water and I fess up that I don't know how to open the feckin bonnet and he very sweetly explains, in soothing tones you would use on a 6 year old how to open the bonnet and check the water etc. He was just like my dad to me. He did look at me as if I shouldn't be allowed to drive if I can't do something as straight forward as open the bonnet though. He's keeping the beautiful car in for observation tonight and I can visit tomorrow and I sincerely hope that it will be an uneventful recovery from the emergency surgery. ( and not too expensive as well )

PS I want to take this opportunity to add that TBM really is 1 in a million to put up with not only all my nonsense but to also have me fessing up his quirks for my mates to scrutinise. You truly are the business.


lisa q. said...

ugh! i hate dealing with cars...i'm pretty sure mine is possessed by, out of nowhere, the air bag light came on...i'm pretty sure that means i need to drive much more carefully! :P

Anonymous said...

Me USED to have a car. The only thing me could do was add oil and that was after me was showed how and how to pump me own gas {{which the first time me went into a gas station for gas had to be shown how the gas pump worked}}.

See, yer not the only girly, girl on the planet. Um, but in my case um **head hangs in shame** **stutter** me X husband was an auto-body repair man so you would think me would get the basics about cars?? Not me!!!! *BLUSHES** LMAO

Anonymous said...

Thanks for writing this.