Tag, I'm it

Your mission should you choose to accept it is,

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you

Okay, never let it be said that you don't get value for money with your auntie. As I am in my usual position of prone on my bed with the laptop, the nearest book to me was on my bedside table, there were 3 on top of one another, so I shall give you the extract from all 3.

Something had to be done, although he had no notion of what that something might be, and he stared, stricken, at the doctor's wife as she put her hand to her throbbing head and moaned. He might be stupid, but he knew what this meant. Calamity was coming.

Taken from " The Thirteenth Tale " by Diane Setterfield.

Sleep can do that to you - erase the most important thing from your mind. Iris listens, straining for sound. Nothing.

From " The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox " by Maggie O' Farrell.

And now Yanne Charbonneau was watching me in a fearful silence that spun and spun like a silk cocoon. I could have said, well, that was lucky, or just just put back the dish without a word, but it was now or never, I told myself. Strike at once, while resistance is low.

From "The Lollipop Shoes" by Joanne Harris.


I would like to thank Indigo16 aka Alison for this, and please don't apologise for tagging me, I never mind in the slightest, unlike the Edge who I think has only done 1 tag in living memory.

I know some of you have already done this but I would like to tag anyone who's interested, I'd love to know what you're all reading. Yes that means you, TF, Karen, Gwen, Katie, Flick, Mob and Lena all in the UK. Also Newfie ( in Canada) and Lisa and Craze in the US of A,are you reading very different stuff over the pond ?
See me, see my blog, .... international.

(ps, that last bit was tongue in cheek, just in case you thought I was getting a bit full of myself, which is a cardinal sin where I come from !!!)

Uh oh

Oh no, I've done it now. Your auntie who has been ultra scathing about team building games has got to facilitate such a team building day.

In the past I have been less than complimentary about the value of getting people to blow a jelly baby around a table with a straw. Now I've got to sort out a whole day of such stuff.

Help, please... What the feck will I do with them, for a whole day !!!!!!

Glasvegas goes to Glastonbury

Just read the leaked list of who's appearing at this years Glastonbury. My new favourite band name ?

Glasvegas

How good is that ? even if they were pants (and they're so not), they have the coolest name ever ! Ah, you can't keep a good Weegie down !! They're supporting Muse at Marlay Park in Dublin the week before I see The Killers there, ah I feel a week of partying in my mother's Mother Country coming on.....

ps for the foreign readers a Weegie, is a shortened form of Glaswegian, who is a native inhabitant of the glorious mad city that is Glasgow.

It's Been a Hard Two Days

Please send your auntie some vitual love.I have had some trouble the last few days.

The pictures you can see are of The Beautiful House, it's our holiday villa/kid's inheritance/pension fund.
I had some guests arrive on Monday night but they had no hot water, there is a leak in the solar tank on the roof.
Here we go again, last year was a veritable merry go round of repairs, so I authorise the repair at the cost of 500 big ones. Then I get told there is no water in the pool, many many emails are flying between myself and the agents who are paid shed loads of money to deal with such issues as I am thousands of miles away. The agents say I did not tell them to fill the pool, I just told them to get the villa ready for the guests and collect them from the airport !!!! Silly me, why would the guests want the pool filled up ?
Aaaargh...

Then I find out that the venue I have been using for the last 6 years to run my parenting classes is cutting my slots by half and increasing my rent by £20 to £50 for a 2 hour slot.
Aaaargh...

Then I have to attend a meeting at 9 am this am, which means I have to get up early to fit in the run, I'm out the house by 7.25 to run, it's raining and me no likey the rain :( I get home, shower and change, drive to work, can't get a parking space, eventually get parked (creatively but miles away), walk in rain to meeting, am 15 minutes late, find meeting has been postponed, get back to car, still raining and find I have been stickered for my creative parking.
Aaaargh...

Then I have a nice bit where I find reasonably priced flights to the villa for half term, oh goody, kids will have to miss 1 day of school ( it's a Monday where I don't teach) then realise Eldest Beautiful Daughter has a Maths GCSE that day, now we can't go, as she can't be left home alone for 7 hours never mind 7 days.
Aaaargh...

Now I am going to reframe this in a positive way,

I am lucky enough to have a roof over my head never mind a holiday villa.

The hot water tank didn't damage any of the villa, it got fixed and guests were only without hot water for 1 day. The pool got filled immediately and I can offer to refund some of their money for the inconvenience. It's fixable.

I can just about afford the increase and today I looked at alternative venues that will be not quite so good but def cheaper.

Because I am at school anyway I decide to use the time effectively. I went into our staff office (for the very first time ever, and I've been working there since September) and I did loads of lesson prep with nice colour handouts and all kinds of stuff. My head of department came in and I had the 2nd conversation ever with them and it was really good. I've been promised more training and they gave me a desk, a drawer in the filing cabinet and told me to help myself to stationery, free board pens and post it notes, how good is that ?

I can go out to the villa in the summer, the exams will be over and we can just relax.

A few years ago, these kind of stresses would have reduced me to tears and I'd have lain awake at night worrying about them but after all that's happened since 2006 I've realised it's not good to sweat the small stuff. I really am much more able to see the positives in situations now. Pollyanna is definitely shitting herself

Waiting for The Beautiful Happiness

I was bumping my gums last week about being boring and the " is this it? " type angst than I can be prone to. Now I know that I am the only one who can change the script so with that in mind I did do sumfin bout it.

In the last week

I did join a running club, yes I did, I did run 3 times, now don't I deserve a medal ? I met 2 really nice women and have felt very virtuous all week, including when I ate a Marathon bar, yes I know they're called Snickers now but I'm of an age.

I did go for drinks with a man, I did not like it, I thought I was being brave and getting out there and yes, I do trust my friend who arranged it, yes he was ok but I am not going to date just for the sake of it, and I do take your point that I am far too fussy and no one is perfect but there was no spark and I'm not going to waste his time and my lipgloss on it. Enough said.

I did go to a birthday party on Saturday night, I drank pink champagne and danced. I was chatted up by boys, what is wrong with me? boys under 25 and men over 60 love me, it's just the 40 something ones I struggle with. I was fairly seriously pursued by a 22 year old and even a 19 year old had a good crack at me. I've got tea towels older than that. I just wanted to give them career advice, I could no more flirt back with them than I could support the England rugby team.

I know I'll sound really judgemental but there were grown up women there who really were old enough to know better, it's a fine line between being youthful/game for a laugh and sad old slapperdom. On arrival a 50 something Grandma, bent over and lifted her dress up, flashing her thong, I generally just say hello, she also greeted the young lads there by rubbing their faces in her ample bosom, which just looked motherly as opposed to perky. She was trying to fit in with a much younger crowd, when I spoke to her later, she's had such a sad romantic history and seemed like a really nice person, she's just so scared of being on her own. When I left, she had teamed up with a cross hybrid of Rod Stewart and Peter Stringfellow who was definitely was of an age with her, they seemed happy enough.

My friend who is dating a really lovely guy (who wasn't there) spent a fair ammount of time face sucking and bum feeling someone 20 years her junior. This was despite a team talk in the ladies from me about how happy her relationship makes her. Now being fair I was the soberest one there and my friend was fairly drunk, she kept telling the 25 year old she couldn't give him babies, I kept thinking, he doesn't want a relationship, he just wants emptied, he tried it on with me when she went to the loo and on hearing my refusal asked me what the best way to "nail" my friend was. A real charmer, eh ? I absolutely made sure she went home with me, in the taxi I asked her why and she said she just wanted to keep her options open ?!? Should you be snogging strangers in tacky clubs when you're with someone ?

I spent the night feeling like I was a Wee Free Minister, I had the sour puss look off to perfection. Okay it's hardly Sodom and Gomorrah but it's just not my idea of fun and it's not what I want. I may be fussy and I may not get perfection but in my life I've been damn close to it and I am so not going to settle. One day I will have The Beautiful Happiness again.

My Big Brave Boy

After school today I was in the conservatory talking to a student on the phone, see I am so nice my adult learners have my number and can ring me for help.

There was a really loud banging on the front door followed by someone coming in and yelling "Hello", I know this is one of the many matey boys who befriend the Eldest Beautiful Daughter but I'm busy so I ignore it, they come in, help themself to a biscuit, look for EBD, fail to find her and then leave.

About 15 minutes later I go upstairs to find The Beautiful Son, the door banging and shouting scared him so much, he's locked himself in the loo !!! He thought we were being burgled, so my bigger than me, rugby playing son just left me to fend for myself and locked himself away. Burgled, would you give yourself peace !!!

Big wuss

Mixed Up Mummy

I am trying very very hard to be happy, sometimes that's easier said than done.I operate a policy of trying to find a positive in every situation. On the plus side in the last week the following good things appeared

I GOT 2 TICKETS TO SEE THE KILLERS IN DUBLIN
The staff room at work got a cappucino machine, free cappucino's at work, how good is that ?!?!

Things I am trying to reframe to a more positive note

My life is extremely boring, I am heading towards middle age and I fear I am becoming very dull. Suggestions on a postcard please

Welcome to my world

I just could not resist this. It has to be the funniest thing I've seen for ages. Much kudos to The Beautiful Son for finding this. You know the drill, just click on the wee thingy.

The Killer's in Dublin

OH MY GOD

I love my readers, I really really love you

The Killers in Dublin, how good is that ?

I didn't even know that they were playing in Dublin, then God Bless Anonymous, I could kiss you.

I mean, Dublin, that's nearly as good as seeing them in The Mother Country.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you, one last little query, is there one site that's safer than another ? There are several that are selling tickets and I ve never bought from a ticket touty type thing before. Also is it worth spending an extra £15 per ticket on front standing or just go for general admission ?

The only little downer, the person I would like most to see them with won't be with me :(

So, I'm going to buy 2 tickets, would you like to come with me ? Please ? It'll be a birthday treat for me, go on, you know you want to....

Mission (please be) possible ?

Now who loves their auntie ? I hardly ever ask you for anything, really I don't but this time I am imploring you to help me.

I desperately, desperately need to see The Killers, I want this more than ANYTHING in my life. (Even more than what I was moaning about on Friday, Edge, and I wanted that a lot !!!)They are playing only at the Reading and Leeds Festival 22nd to 24th August. They are playing Reading on the Sat and Leeds on the Sunday, I don't care which one, I would just love to see them. I tried really really hard to get tickets but didn't manage it. I just cannot afford to pay more than £100 for a day ticket and I need at least 2 but pref 3. I can't afford the ebay route.

I can do trades or swapsies, I could live with 1 kidney but I really need to keep all 3 of the beautiful children. I have a gorgeous holiday villa in Turkey that I could let you have rent free as a swapsie, I would even consider sexual favours if you're handsome and 41 year old women float your boat. I will do your laundry, clean your house, sleep train your baby or toddler tame your child, if it's legal I ll give it a go !!!

If you know of anyone who has a spare ticket ( I know it's unlikely but I've got to explore every possibility) please think of me and the Beautiful Eldest Daughter and The Beautiful Son. They are poor wee deprived emo's. So if you're one of the chosen few, don't take your partner, take me, I'll be entertaining, do all the driving (you might have to navigate though !), do anything you want me to do.

Oh okay, I promise not to sing.

Ps - in a shameless plea for sympathy, Beautiful Baby Daughter has just started learning the trumpet, she's very keen, practices a lot and it's very very loud. Go on feel sorry for me, take me to see the pretty Brandon Flowers. Make me happy.

No Sex in Suburbia

Well, can you believe it ? I am sat here ala Carrie from Sex and The City, writing this very post on my laptop on my bed !!! Yes I now have wireless all sorted, to be fair I had to buy a new pc to support this, but hey I now have the joy of being able to ramble on whilst sat around in my bra. Incidentally, why did she always do that? it's a wee bit chilly for your auntie but hey if it's good enough for Carrie...

What a gas job that Carrie's must be, just writing about how weird men are, I mean how easy is that ? Never let it be said that I am an unfair woman, I will say now that there are at least 3 men that I like and I'm only related to 2 of them !I know it's a cheap shot to snipe at them but fairly safe to , on this blog as I think it is an overwhelmingly female readership.

Off I go now to see Christina so we can have a real old pop at the poor wee scones and as always update our celebrity shag list, mine is pitiful at the mo so feel free to drop me some suggestions.

Just to whet your appetite, click on the nice wee thingybob and have a sneaky peek at the movie that I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ5UyFLJcCc

Want to come with me ?

The Mother Country

I wish I could do something clever and blast you out a bit of prime Scottish music to signify that I am in The Mother Country. Had a really good journey today and when I crossed the border into Gretna Green the sun was shining, always so good to be home.

My gadget mad dad has bought yet another wide screen tv and this one is ENORMOUS, he has also bought a laminator( porqoui ?) but the most bizarre purchase of all is ( in the interests of fairness I don't know who is responsible, it could be either one of my mad parents) they have bought a mirrored toilet seat !

No, I had no idea that such things existed either, is there a site called badtaste.com or moremoneythanyouknowwhattodowith.com or spenditbeforeyougo.com. ?

I did ask why (after being fairly startled on a visit to the loo) and I was told it was chrome and was to match the other accessories. well, fair enough.

I am going to take a photo of this toilet seat and post it at a later date as I don't have a camera connection whojaflip with me at my mammy's.

Glasgow ex European city of culture, now home of the mirrored toilet seat, it's great to be home

Tech feckin ology

It is a well known fact that I struggle with technology. Last week I was slagging off my head of department Ricky for being on Facebook, asking him why when he's a grown up and he told my learners that Miss is 20th century and he's 21st... very true

The Beautiful Eldest Daughter was given a swanky new laptop for her birthday and waited at least 17 minutes before demanding that she be allowed internet access. It sounds quite simple, we have broadband, someone tried to set up a wireless router for me a few months ago when I got my laptop but it didn't work. Now I accepted that some technology just isn't for me, I only use my laptop for work stuff and I now have a wee stick thing I save stuff on and then if required, one of the Beautiful Children will email it from the main pc. So I have managed to not require this router thingy to work. I adapt to what I have available, very 20th century.

Will this be acceptable for herself, oh no. She got her dad to get a new router and he spent a huge ammount of time trying to get that to work. The problem appears to be that our pc is ancient, it is so slow, has no sound and has to have a wee rest after an hour or so (a bit like me really !!!) and does not have something that sounds like ethanet drivers, I neither know nor care.

The upshot of this is not only have I forked out for a new laptop for her and 2 routers I now have to buy a new pc to allow her to access myspace from her bed. The whole point of the laptop was for homework, which last time I checked didn't include myspace or msn as part of the gcse curriculum.

Tech feckin ology .. it's the future and it's expensive

Easter Joy

Oh yes, your auntie is happy again. I stopped work for the 2 week Easter holidays after work on Thursday. The nice thing about having so many teachers read your blog is that no one moans about the holidays the way that other people do.

I have only 2 x 2000 word assignments to mark for the nursery nurses. I have 7 x 50 mark questions to mark for the A level students and another 7 x 50 mark questions to internally moderate. Easy peasy.

The Beautiful Son has returned relatively undamaged from his rugby weekend, he played in a tournament and scored a try. He also saw the Tigers victory at The Millenium Stadium ( I am just about to check out how old Andy Goode is as I think he can replace Dimitri Szarzewski in my CSL )

The Beautiful Eldest Daughter is a mass of seething hormones and is best avoided at present but the omnipresent chocolate may help. I can but dream.

The Beautiful Baby Daughter is a mass of fizzing energy which was noticed more by me as it was just the 2 of us all weekend as the others were away. I am frankly exhausted, she never sits still, we shopped, played, danced, drew, make hama beads, Easter baskets and cards !! Before we had finidhed one thing she was asking what we were going to do next !!! I know why she has so much energy, it's because she has completely drained me of mine !

I am going home to The Mother Country this week. I like to take my children to The Beautiful Parents as it's the only time they get a home cooked meal. I also like to see what my gadget mad dad had been spending my inheritence on.

So if you're around Glasgow or Edinburgh this week and you fancy meeting up for coffee, lunch or just wine, let me know. If not I'll catch up with you in Blogland.

Them feckin Italians

I know I have irrational prejudices against the Italians and it's something I'm working on but what about that wee feckin italian with his drop goal 40 secs from time to win the match ? Feckers.

That seems like God just wants me to keep hating them.

No real connection except rugby, but I am pleased to announce I have found a new man to head my celebrity shag list. He is called Dimitri Szarzewski, he plays no 2 ( which is hooker, and that is a real rugby position, honest!) for France. His club is Staid Francais. He is sooooooooo beautiful, I have not even checked out how old he is (even in fantasy, I won't do it if they are more than 5 years younger than me). He reminds me of Prince Charming in Shrek.

Please click on the wee thingybob and you will see him ( I hope) What can I say gratuitous images of men, my mother will be shocked. Is this the first case of rugby porn ?http://www.weshow.com/uk/p/28599/dimitri_szarzewski_dieux_du_stade_2008

And no you can't have him, I saw him first.

PS - When trying to find a picture of him, I've been routing round in cyberspace and I've found out he's only 25, I ve now gone off him now, too young but I've left the thingy in case you're a - younger than me or b - not bothered

Eldest Beautiful Daughter

Tomorrow my beautiful girl will be 16. She has always been a delight to me and I cannot imagine life without her, way too boring. She is a gorgeous mixture of part adult part baby, she looks so grown up sometimes and at others I can still see her with pigtails and a lollipop.

I really must fess up and say I haven't done her any favours in the growing up stakes. I have done everything for her and consequently she is not a fully functioning human yet. I shudder to think how she'll manage living independently. She doesn't know how to clean, use a washing machine or iron. She can only make toast, spaghetti hoops and tinned soup. She has never used a cash machine, paid a bill or made an appointment for the Dr's, dentist or optician. I do all of that for her, she can't even ask a sales assistant in a shop for anything, I have to ask if they've got it in a 6.

But she is kind, funny, smart and extremely beautiful and I have 2 years to teach her how to live. So join with me in wishing her the best year yet, she is my beloved first child, I cannot tell you how much I love her, she is my heart, Mo Chridhe

15-9

Oh tis a good day to be Scottish in England.
All hail the mighty Chris.
Dan Parks didn't look too shabby either

Johnny who ?

Technological assistance sought

Oh feckity feckity feck, I'm in trouble. Work had lent me a laptop as our PC is ancient and fairly crap. Being very foolish, I have allowed The Beautiful Children to use it. Now all the font has become absolutely massive, Eldest Beautiful Daughter has fiddled with it and put the font sizes setting to normal but it still remains massive.

Some of the little x s you click on to shut down (DO NOT FECKIN LAUGH AT MY TERMINOLOGY, I AM WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE LEARNED THIS) anyway, some of the little x's look like the colour has run on them like something has spilled on them.

If you can explain how to fix this in a way my addled brain can comprehend, please please help before I have to fess up to work.

PS
I have been chosen to receive a lovely Busy Bee award from Tom Foolery, many thanks to you sweetie, but due to my complete technological ineptitude I can't show it. It will join my Rockin Girl award from Lisa Q and my Courageous Blogger award from Newfie in my little cyber drawer of nice things. It's not that I don't appreciate it, honest !

Will you marry me ?

I was thinking that this was was a good time to have a wee bit of fun, after all, how many times does a girl get to propose ?

Now, I am a creature of habit and for many many years my celebrity shag list remained the same. The original line up was as follows

1 Billy Connolly
2 Robbie Coltrane
3 Craig Ferguson
4 Alan Cumming
5 Dougie Henshall

I amended it a few years ago, giving the matter quite considered care, to

1 Dougray Scott
2 Dougie Henshall
3 (I'm sorry to say I can't remember but it could've been Jack Davenport)
4 Sharleen Spiteri
5 Angelina Jolie

Now, I'm afraid to say that I'm going to have to amend it again as none of them seem to be doing it for me. What is wrong with me ? There are millions of people in this world, why can't I choose 5 ? It really is a puzzle, I've got no one to propose to and no one to proposition.

So, if you can think of anyone I can propose to, drop me a line please !

Ps, I have discounted Dan Parks as he is only 28 and Chris Patterson as he is a baby too

Hazardous Activities

At the moment I am teaching a module on Health and Safety, which I'm sure you will agree is just the topic to engage keen young minds ! They hang on my every word.

I went to collect some risk assessment forms that we use for trips, to show the students. We've got a rack of paperwork and a big notice board in the staff room. On the board there was a list of hazardous activities including stuff like canoeing, kayaking, pot holing etc. At the top some wag had written in big red writing.... TEACHING

Oh yes, who says teachers aren't funny ?

Scotland v England

This morning I caught a little preview of a programme that will be showing tonight. I think it's about how residents of Scotland have more per head spent on them by the government than English residents. In actual fact Northern Ireland residents get the most money spent on them but that wouldn't be as controversial a programme would it ?

It is relatively well known that a lot of Scots don't really care for the English but I think a lot of that is fairly tongue in cheek, I know that many Scots will always support the other team when there is a sporting event but do we Scots as a nation really hate the English ? I don't hate the English at all, I have some really lovely friends who are English but I feel very different to them.

My experiences of growing up in Thatcher's Britain have shaped me. I remember how strange and exciting it was to hear a Scottish accent on tv, we always had English voices and programming, there was a feeling that somehow our own voices were second best. Of course it's changed now and there are some fantstic Scottish programmes on now but I remember the excitement in school talking about the Peter McDougall play "Just a boy's Game" and if we had seen Billy Connolly on Parkinson. I also remember being governed by a Conservative government who had not 1 elected MP over on my side of the border. That kind of cemented the view that no matter what you voted in Scotland, it didn't matter as English opinions would always prevail due to the sheer numbers. I learned in school how much Scotland had given the world, we really did invent masses of really useful stuff and I learned how following the Jacobite rebellion that tartan, the kilt and Gaelic were banned. It does make you feel that as a union Scotland was definitely the weaker partner. I could say that Scotland took on the wife's role but that's a whole other post !

A really interesting book to read is " The Scottish Enlightenment - The Scots' Invention of the Modern World" by Arthur Herman. It makes you realise what my beautiful tiny nation contributed and incidentally, Arthur isn't Scottish.

I am a Scot living in England, my children are also Scottish and we really miss The Mother Country. I feel a profound ache living in exile. We share a border and some of us a common language but I feel as foreign here as I would living in America or in France. Every time I drive over the border into The Mother Country I play Runrig's "Coming Home" and we cheer and I often cry. I miss my country and my culture.

I know that due to my sheer incompetence in thinking ahead I will now have to live here until my children finish their education. I do not have a clear year where none of the children will not be doing exam coursework, the joy of having 3 children in 4 years !!! I would hate to move them when they are at a crucial stage of their education but if Scotland devolves, can I really still live here ? The thought of having to use a passport to go home just seems to press the point that I will be living in another country. At the moment I can still kid myself because we are still part of the UK but if devolution happens that notion goes.

I don't hate my life in England and I don't hate the English but I know that I will never be truly happy until I'm back where I belong. I have become more patriotic as I have got older and the longer I live away the more I miss it.

Being Scottish is not my defining characteristic but I do feel I would never chose to be anything other. The immense feeling of pride I have when I hear Flower of Scotland or when I see our beautiful rugby team lined up or when I hear the Murrayfield roar makes me well up. I feel immensly blessed that I had the good fortune to be born Scottish, how lucky am I ? My beautiful Scotland is my heart, Mo Chride

Three in a week

Go me, you can so tell I've got masses of free time.

I have run 3 times this week, which is unbelievable for me.

I have posted 3 blogs this week, also very unusual.

My house is clean.

My prep work is done.

All 3 of The Beautiful Children are with their dad.

Okay, I'm bored now, entertain me

Half Term Happy

Posting on consecutive days ! It can only mean it's half term. Normally I would drive up and visit The Beautiful Parents but Eldest Beautiful Daughter has revision sessions for GCSE's so here we stay. I have no marking to do, just prep and obviously a mountain of housework but time to do it in, God is good.

Today was a really beautiful day and I went out and ran, no prevaricating or procrastination, just put my trainers on, ipod in and ran, I'm so pleased with myself.

I've just finished a fabulous book by Charlotte Moore called George and Sam. She's a journalist and this is a very poignant and in no way self pitying account of her day to day life as a parent of 3 boys, the 2 oldest having Autism. It's incredibly well written and as soon as I finished it, I immediately started it again, I thought it was that good.
I must, in the interests of fairness tell you that she writes for The Guardian (which is 1 of my irrational pet hates) but recently I have been teaching a Mental Health module as part of the A level and have found The Guardian to be a tremendoulsy useful resource. So maybe I will have to change my room 101 to take out The Guardian and it's readers.

I got a really nice text today from someone who I'd thought had forgotten me.

I am very happy.

Makes you proud, doesn't it ?

A very big thank you to Ros for sending me this, it did raise a chuckle which is not mean feat when you think of the rugby, me sad, me very sad.

BEING BRITISH.
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

and finally...In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Randomness

There is no coherence to this post really, it's just a random piece about the things that have happened in the last few days.

The Beautiful Son has gone on a school trip, he's snowboarding in Switzerland, I miss him so much, I'm glad he goes and I'm glad he enjoys it but I just miss his physical presence as he is usually attached to me, it seems strange to not have his hugs. Roll on Saturday, when he's back

I was meant to go to the cinema to see The Kite Runner with the book group as we've just finished the book. I had to cancel as I had no babysitter. The irony of that is that 4 times per week after school I teach a total of 40 students to babysit !!!!!! Oh yes, how my friends laughed when I made my apologies.

I had no babysitter as Eldest Beautiful Daughter went to see her friends band perform. I was also asked to go by one of the students at school - go me ! He handed me the flier which offered " Free sex, if you come" I'm not even going to begin on that one, but as I was reading it, his little face got a bit panicked and he said " Miss, that bit's not for you" okay then...

My washing machine is officially dead, Comet are charging me a grand total of £40.45 to remove my old machine and plumb in the new one. I know it'll take them 10 minutes at best. I am not going to depress myself by working out what percentage of the washing machine price that is .

Beautiful Baby Daughter got the most fantastic report card, she seems to be storming along academically and is still engaged in her learning. Again I am not going to depress myself by wondering when she will switch off. She will continue to be a teacher's dream.... (unlike her siblings)

I had a really sleepless night on Saturday as EBD and her friend failed to come home on time, not just a bit late, but hours late, allegedly they fell asleep at someone elses house (ok then) and neither had taken a phone. I really felt so alone, just sitting there worrying and crying, knowing that I can't go and look for her as she wouldn't have a key to get back in and having BBD alseep in bed, I can't remember when I felt I needed someone to help me so acutely, I just wanted someone there with me, to support me. So being the mean old bag that I am I phoned her dad and made him have a sleepless night worrying about her too. I found myself about to apologize for this but stopped myself, just because I have full time residency of them, it doesn't mean that they're not his kids and not his worries too, right ?

The 6 nations have started, Ireland won, England got beat and so did we, at Murrayfield as well. Never mind, there's always next week.

Every night before I go to sleep I try and think of 5 good things that have happened in the day. I am trying to focus on the positves in my life. I read somewhere that for happiness, you can actually " Fake it till you make it"

So, that's what I'm keeping doing, doing the things that make me content and counting my blessings, Pollyanna must be shitting herself !!!