A Great Big Thank You

I would like to say thank you to everyone who visits here.

My blog has been one of the most fun things I have ever done in my life. It has provided me with interaction with adults whilst being at home with the children. It has allowed me to try and clarify my thoughts and feelings. It's given me the chance to share the little funny things that the children have done that you would normally share with your partner. I hope that when they are older and they do read this, they will see just how essential they are to me, just as the air that I breathe is and how much they are loved. I've had insight into other people's views and opinions. I've been privileged enough to see into other people's lives and enjoy their ups and try and see them through their downs. I've made friends from all over the world. I've learned, I've laughed and cried too but for me it has been an overwhelmingly positive experience.

I know of people who have been given written warnings at work because of their blog even though they haven't mentioned it by name, I've seen nasty comments written on posts and I've seen people profoundly hurt by blog/real life cross over. I've been very fortunate in that my experience has been so good but I think that is the case for most of us bloggers.

My blog/real life cross over is limited, my children don't read it, my ex husband doesn't know I do it, I think some friends know I have it but have not been sufficiently interested to read it. So I only have a few people who know the regular me and the blog me, I have my mate the Edge who has known me for at least 180 years and he encouraged me to do it, I have my friend Sixy who is so funny and sweet, I have IT GOD who now knows more than he wanted to and wishes he hadn't bloody found it and I wonder if from time to time someone I used to date drops by, I know I would find the temptation irresistible if he had a blog, I'd have definitely kept reading, if you do Ken, please say hello.

The real kind of point to this is to say thanks for being with me. I've been blogging for about 18 months now and over that time I've been given awards. Due to my sheer technological numptiness and general can't be arsed to learn how to ness I've never put them on my blog and for that reason also I don't have a favourites list. It's not that I don't appreciate them, honest. So I have a little cyber drawer of nice things that include

A Rocking Girl Blogger award from Lisa

A Courageous Blogger award from Newfie ( who has disappeared and I often worry if she's ok)

A Busy Bee award from Tom Foolery

An Arte De Pico award again from Tom Foolery

An award of my choice from a selection at Mean Mom ( I loved the heart one but I worry that I wouldn't be able to link it back to her and you need the sentiment with the award) so I'll go for the nice one, I am often described as nice, I prefer edgy, but I can go with nice.

An award of my choice from MOB, I'd like to take the funny one, I get described as funny sometimes too, and sexy, that really surprises me, I never think of myself as sexy. Sorry, tmi again.

So in a poor attempt at coherence and a round up between my last post and this post, in my week without the weans I am going to attempt to put my awards on my blog, have different and appropriate music play to accompany the posts, learn to do the click on this word thingy and add a list of my favourite reads. That will take the whole week but the upshot is I can stay in my pyjamas and eat crap. I, sad article that I am, am really looking forward to doing this.

So, once again, thank you for being part of my life and thank you for letting me into yours. My day to day existence is so much the richer for it.

Without the Weans

You know that I love my children, I really really do, profoundly, deeply and unconditionally. Always good to get your disclaimer in early.

Is it wrong then for me to be so feckin excited ? Porquoi, I hear you exclaim, because from Thursday 17th of July until Thursday 24th of July I will be sans weans.

That's right, your auntie will be child free for a week.

Again for emphasis, I will be child free for a week.

Jesus, Mary and Holy St Joseph, what will I do with myself for a whole week ? Answers on a postcard please.

Techfeckinology part umpteen

Yes, my nemesis has come back to haunt me again. At work all my timetable for next term starts on Monday, why ? The computer says so, I got my confirmed timetable only on Wednesday and being a good girl I planned Mondays first 3 lessons and submitted the lesson plans. Then as I was leaving today I found out that all the school timetables are wrong as the students have a completely different timetable to the staff, so they will issue an electronic timetable later today. That means I do not know who or where or when I will be teaching next week or in September. This matters a lot as I am part time and I have arranged other teaching work elsewhere based on what I thought I was available to do. All because of a technical hitch.

Whilst at home....

I am writing this on the new PC as my laptop says on 1 part of the screen it's connected to the internet but on another it has "connection issues"

Well I have issues too...

So I have struggled to sort this out ( ok I asked the weans and switched it on and off, then I switched off the router thingy and switched it back on again) and IT God now has a limit on how many times I'm allowed to ask for help and he keeps threatening to show me how to do stuff myself, does he not know me at all? I mean, the policy of acting all helpless and getting people to do my tech stuff for me has served me well over the last 4 decades !!!

So here I am, not prone on my bed but upright in the dining room letting you know that I am still alive. As it's the end of term we've been mainly school fete ing and school concert ing

Beautiful baby Daughter and Eldest Beautiful Daughter both claim to have won the 6 foot tall bright orange and black soft toy shark that I keep tripping over. They have the same first initial and the daft pair both really want the damn thing. Well of course that's all I need to make my happiness complete a 6 foot toy shark, lucky me. An asset to any home.

Beautiful Baby Daughter had to play her trumpet at a musical concert last night at school. They provided wine on arrival, wine at the interval and then more wine at the end. This helped tremendously with my enjoyment levels of the evening. At no point in the evening did the violin playing sound like a cat being ironed. I feel all childrens performances would be much easier to get through with this help. Maybe even parents evenings for both teachers and parents ? Should I put it in the staff suggestions box at work ?

I am out drinking tonight and possibly out drinking tomorrow night. This will make 3 nights in a row. I wonder if my behaviour will be worse for the cumulative effect or because all my lovely bloggy friends have assured me that I'm just having fun ?

Musical Meme

I have been tagged by Indigo16 for this lovely meme, I'm really pleased as I've never been asked for a musical one before.

The rules of the game as set by Simon Reynolds: “List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs.



The newest single from Glasvegas, I love the first verse, really poignant words, and I thank you for deciphering them and sending me them.



Now you knew this post would be Killers heavy, but I have restrained myself to 2. " For Reasons Unknown" This is the theme tune for my new life. I am a completely different woman than I was 2 years ago, and even 1 year ago, I go on, never looking back, like it says in the song "If Destiny's kind, I've got the rest of my life" and I'm going to live it.



My very favourite song ever, The Undertones - "Teenage Kicks", perfection.



The Killers - "The Ballad of Michael Valentine" , the best bit is at the end just after he sings " I've got a coat tail left to ride" and you get the bestest guitar riff, but you need to have it up loud for full effect.




The Dandy Warhols - "Bohemian Like You" - again best loud and I've provided some nakedness both male and female, I cater for all on this blog. Repeat after me, " You're the best auntie ever auntiegwen"



The Pink Spiders - "Little Razorblade" Their album " Teenage Graffiti" belongs to Eldest Beautiful Daughter but it lives in my car, it's happy there. She thinks she's lent it out but can't remember to whom, I keep quiet, bad auntiegwen, bad.




Fun Lovin Criminals - " The Fun Lovin Criminal", what can I say? I like Huey and I've got really fun memories of Beautiful Baby Daughter being very young and singing along loudly from the back seat.

So thank you Alison, I've loved this, please feel free to have a go on your own blog, I'd like to know what the Edge is listening to but he never does tags, so it'll be the usual suspects, you know who you are...

Old enough to know better ?

I'm wondering if I'm getting a bit too youthful in my outlook. In the last week I've...

got completely overexcited as my Killers tickets have arrived whoop whoop ( that's the auntiegwen happy noise)
gone to bed on a DIFFERENT day to when I got up (twice) on school nights too
read NME cover to cover, even went as far as to register on their website for an NME account
behaved inappropriately in the travel section at Borders
behaved in a way unbecoming to a woman my age in 2 different car parks
behaved in a less than mature fashion in a pub

Am I old enough to know better or am I just having fun ?

I've had a busy day !

I awoke The Beautiful Son and showered him with gifts and kisses.

I made breakfast for everyone and then the packed lunches.

I ran for 5 miles.

I baked The Beautiful Son's Birthday cake.

I spent an hour prepping for Friday's lesson.

I did a load of laundry, pegged it out, cleaned the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher.

I went to work and during the departmental staff meeting, I presented a new IT system for enrolling students ( I had a lot of help with this courtesy of a charming IT consultant, whose number is now stored on my phone under God)

I spent 2 hours cleaning out our resource cupboard at work.

I came home, vacuumed the house, emptied the dishwasher and took in the laundry.

I cleaned up (without yelling) the broken snowglobe that Rhys Daniel ( TBS maddest mate) had broken whilst playing indoor golf with a rugby ball.

I drove into the village to collect take out pizza's that TBS wanted for tea.

I then drove back into the village to go to the bank, as Beautiful Baby Daughter needs money for my ticket to see her play her trumpet in the school concert. I will of course, go with joy and be tremendously enthusiastic about these budding musicians.

I emptied the bins ready for collection tomorrow.

I did some prep for tomorrows lesson with the nursery nurses.

I have bug busted Beautiful Baby Daughter's hair.

I have spoken to my mummy on the phone.

I have blogged this.

I am now very tired and this is why I am usually asleep by 9pm.

The Beautiful Son - A Teenager !

Can you believe that my adorable baby boy has had the audacity to turn into a teenager !! The cheek of him. Tomorrow he will become 13.

He really was the most gorgeous baby, he had a cheeky smile, a really infectious laugh, very blonde hair and had big brown eyes that looked up at me like I was the Queen of the world. Some things have slightly changed over the years, he's much less blonde now and the big brown eyes look down on me now but I have to say he still looks at me with love.

When he was little he had lots of cute sayings and doings, he used to call me Mummydarling, all one word, he genuinely thought that was my name, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he thought for a bit and announced that he thought that being a King would be a good job ! He was very scared of small yappy type dogs, big yappy type dogs and most animals really. When he was a toddler he was a one man demolition machine, he touched and broke everything in his path, it really was just as well he was so lovable.

Today he plays rugby, is fearless, has long hair, plays electric guitar and looks very cool. He has a real integrity to him and is a really popular boy, everyone who meets him loves him.

Once when he was 2 he had completely destroyed the playroom, a real huge mess and when I went in I pointed to it and I asked him " What did Jack make ? " pointing at the mess and he replied " Mummydarling happy, Jack makes Mummydarling happy"

And he still does, every single day and I count my blessings for the gift of him and the absolute priviledge to be his mummydarling, I am THE luckiest woman in the world, because he's mine and I love him more than I can ever say, he's my heart, mo chridhe.

My arse

It's been a quiet week this week. Beautiful Baby Daughter has been on a school trip to Wales but is coming back tomorrow. I have missed my wee sweetie scone and she's missed me, she texted me yesterday saying, I just need a hug, aawh babbins.

Eldest Beautiful Daughter continues on her exam merry go round but only has 3 left, so on the home stretch.

The Beautiful Son continues to be a work shy article whose has practised his twin pastimes of Runescaping and eating to olympic standard this week. No BBD to share the computer or jaffa cakes with !!!

EBD made me laugh today, when I got in from work she told me that TBS had got changed out of his school uniform but he'd put his t shirt ( a Glasgow Rangers Football top, no hate mail please, I didn't buy it !!!) on back to front, so she tells him and he looks down to check. There emblazened across his chest is his name and the number 11, he hadn't noticed. Her parting comment ** " Gifted and talented, my arse !!!"

Join in with me now, " Oh Sweet child of mine"


** The Beautiful Son was picked out for the Gifted and Talented programme whilst at primary school. It was a government thingy that gave extra classes to kids that were identified as being more able, he was picked for the science stream. A fact that somehow surprises people when they meet him !!! It also annoyed the crap out of his sisters who were not chosen.

Consulting

I seem to be flavour of the month at work. Oh yes, there has been notice of your auntie by the big high heid yins. They seem to think I am very what splendid. In fact so many nice things have been said, I apparently can save the educational system all by my own self I am that clever. I am beginning to think if I was chocolate, I would eat myself.
The result of this is, at work today I was asked how much I would charge for a days consultancy work.Now I have no clue for I am a consultancy virgin ( ok, to save you the trouble, I'll say it myself... thats one of the few types of virginity left to me, boom boom !!!) consultancy sounds like a grown up sort of scary type stuff that will probably involve technology which we all know your auntie is feart of.

So, I have been asked to do a few days of educational consultancy with an emphasis on multi sensory learning.

And they have told me to name my price !!

Aw feck, now I'm scared

TMI part deux

I have grey hair in more than 1 location. I have wrinkles. My bosoms are not as pert as they used to be.
I am a 41 year old woman and I accept these little insults as part of the inevitable ageing process.

There are things about me which are sometimes thought of as the trademark of the young.
I have spots on my chin. I have nits.

Now I wonder why I am still single ? Spots, grey hair, wrinkles AND nits.

Form an orderly queue gentlemen.

The Beautiful Students

Today was my last lesson with my year 13 A level group, you know the ones, the "Miss, I don't get it" lot. I only have them 1 double lesson per week on a Wednesday afternoon and they sit their exam on Friday.

When I went in today, they presented me with a huge bouquet of flowers, a box of Thorntons chocolates, a bottle of Merlot and a thank you balloon. They'd all written in a card as well, really lovely things about how much they'd miss me and how much they'd appreciated what I'd done.

Then I went to the other school where I've been doing a babysitting course after school 2 days a week,this was their last lesson too and they'd got me some flowers and a thank you card as well.

It really has been my priviledge to be a teacher, I absolutely love it, it's the best job in the world and when someone says "Thank you" it makes life that little bit sweeter.

So thank you to all my students past and present, I am so pleased to have had you in my life. You do make it all worthwhile. Like I say, I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

The Beautiful Children

The Beautiful Son is annoying his beautiful sisters. At the weekend he filmed Beautiful Baby Daughter when she was asleep to prove that she snores. She's totally peeved and thinks he's going to put it on Youtube. I made him delete it but not before he set it as his ringtone.

At dinner last night BBD accused TBS of eating all the strawberry creams out of the Quality Street we had at the weekend (mea culpa) but before I had a chance to fess up, he had screamed at BBD his denial which made Eldest Beautiful Daughter burst into tears, even though he wasn't shouting at her. She was totally surprised and said she didn't know why she was crying, (we do, exam stress) and she wanted TBS to say sorry for yelling. He wouldn't, both of them left the dinner table all disgruntled leaving Chief Accuser and the Guilty Party unscathed. Like my mum says about BBD she could start a fight in an empty house.

This morning Eldest Beautiful Daughter came down, she's had a rotten night, didn't sleep, had a temperature of 39 but still had to go to school to sit English GCSE this morning and History GCSE this afternoon. She told me she'd had a nightmare and that when she went into the exam hall there was only 1 table and chair, she was all alone and when she turned over her exam paper it was blank.

She looked like she did when she was 4, those huge eyes brimming with tears, and all hot and bothered. I just wish I could help her, giving her Ibuprofen and telling her it'll be okay just seemed like a poor bit of mummying today.

TMI

I have had to face up to an unwelcome truth today. As much as I try to avoid it with the copious amounts of anti wrinkle cream and the fashionable clothes and the vaguely youthful music, I am getting old.

This morning I noticed a grey hair, and it wasn't on my head.

Five Mile Friday

Do I feel good ? Oh yes, today for the first time in a year I ran for a full 5 miles. Shin splints, pah, I speet on your shin splints. God, I feel good.

Sex and the City, The Review

We met at 5.40. We drank cocktails, Kir Royale, Cosmopolitan and Ipanema Breeze were the chosen ones.

We arrived at the cinema, just in time for the 7pm start. I spent the next 2 hours in a blissed out state. It was fabulous. I cried at several parts. At the end the audience got up and clapped, I've never seen that before at a film.

After the film we went out to eat, we all had something in the film we could relate to. I really care about these characters and I was glad my really close friend Susan was with me as I was extremely tearful recognizing how I'd grown up with the 4 and how much my life had changed since 1998. A lot of the things in the film were dilemmas I ve had to deal with in my much less glamorous life.

It is simply a story of friendship and love. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of you who are my friends and thank you to those of you who love me.

Sex and the city day

It's here !!!!!!!!! At long last the day had arrived. Tonight myself and another 6 forty something women (I am the baby of the group) will get glammed up, go for cocktails and then go see THE film.

Cosmopolitan, anyone ?

Good luck

Sending love and luck to Anna and her Beautiful Man who got married today. This is third time lucky for both of them. I wish you the best of everything.

Newfie - Your blog has gone, I ve tried emailing you but that's been closed too. I hope that you're okay, I send you tons of love and you know where I am if you need me. Please just let me know you're ok.

Sending love and luck to those competing in the Lanzarote Ironman today. A massive test of physical fitness with a 4 KM open sea swim, followed by a 180KM cycle and finished off with a marathon. The ultimate challenge. I've been watching out for the Team Cherwell (kiss the badge) red and yellow and thinking of you.

I don't know if you'll ever read it but I still thought of you.

Priorities part deux

Just after I posted the first blog today, I read it back and the date surprised me. On May 19th 1987 I got engaged. Every year we celebrated the date of our engagement. This year even though I wrote the date several times yesterday, it didn't even register with me. How weird is that ? How far have I moved on ?

Priorities

Scene

This morning, day of the English Literature GCSE exam, my bedroom, Eldest Beautiful Daughter looking perturbed

mummy/auntiegwen, looking concerned," Don't worry darling, English is your best subject, you're going to be fine"

Eldest Beautiful Daughter, looking at self in mirror, thoughtfully, answers slowly "No, I don't like this handbag with my new hoody, but I don't have a pink or a grey one"

Well, that's ok then isn't it ?

My Weekend

Morning all. I've had a lovely weekend and hope you've had too. On Friday night I watched 2 episodes of Desperate Housewives and had a Marks and Spencer Raspberry and Strawberry Cheesecake, yum. In my jammies, like the crazy rock n roll mammy I am. Seriously I was completely alone and it was the best weekend night I've had in ages.

On Saturday, Eldest Beautiful Daughter and I went to Bicester and, boy, did we did shop. I bought a very swish Paul Smith top and a less swish but very me top from Jack Wills, EBD got a mahoosive hoody from Jack Wills, I swear it weighs more than she does. We bought half of Quiksilver for the upcoming birthday of The Beautiful Son.
Quote of the day from EBD " Oh you should get that, it's that sludgey grey colour you always wear" Makes me sound tres stylish, don't you think ?

Saturday night EBD went to see her friends band Subsist that were playing at The Shed and I went out to dinner, I had a better time on Friday, but no complaints.

I had masses of texts over the weekend and that always makes me happy.

On Sunday EBD and I walked down to Sainsburys and got the Sunday Times and nice nibbly bits for lunch, we came back, read the papers in the conservatory and then ate the nice lunch. We were in such a giggly mood which is nice as she's been very distracted with her GCSEs, but we have just decided to lie about the results. Like the official party line is that I own up to passing my driving test on the second attempt, my official weight is still 8 stone and I passed my maths o level first time round. We have decided that EBD will get 10 a* Gcse s which takes the pressure off a bit, don't you think ?

So wish my beautiful girl luck today as she sits her first Maths GCSE, maths, just like her mother before her, is her nemesis. She's gone off this morning without a protractor, I shamefully had to ask what it looked like when she asked me to help her find one, but I hope she can borrow one at school. So big big love to her as this will be the hardest of her 10 to get.

I know this is not a very exciting post or very funny but I am just so happy. I just want to record how thankful I am for the gift of her and I want to enjoy the short time I've got left with her as she'll not want to spend these kind of weekends with me for much longer. I'm very grateful for it.

You go girl, your mummy wuvs you

Feel Good Friday

Oh yes, said in the Churchill dog's accent. I love Fridays, I really do, my favourite day of the week. Today, I am particularly chipper. Porquoi ? I hear you ask

Ar school on Friday's we have Feel Good Friday, where if we pay £1 we can dress down. The money goes to our sister school in Africa, so you get to feel good about helping out a school who have so little and you get to wear your jeans (and we all know your sad auntie only likes to be in jeans or jammies)

I only teach till lunchtime, leaving the afternoon completely free for Starbucking, shopping, lunching or any kind of ing !!!!

After tea, my children will be going to stay with their other parent for the weekend ( this doesn't happen every Friday ) but nice when it does. And that's today.

So tonight I have an "empty" ......... score

Tomorrow, I am going on a wee trip to Bicester shopping village.

Tomorrow night I am off out on the town, that will probably follow the pattern of the last few jollies and the most fun I'll have will be the getting ready, but no worries.

On Sunday, I am going on a nice longish run as last night at running club I got a form to enter my very first race. Yes, that's right, your auntie, the least competitive woman in the world, is going to compete.

Hope whatever you do today makes you happy.

Rock n Roll

Last night The Beautiful Son came into my bedroom and said to me, quite seriously too, " You're up late, and you're still in your clothes!!! "

Readers, it was 10 to 10

Gives you a flavour of what a rock n roll lifestyle I have, usually in my jammies and in bed by 9.

Jealous now, aren't you ?

Raindrops on Roses

I have been tagged by Indigo16 aka Alison for this meme

Last movie you saw in the cinema - " Son of Rambow" last Friday evening with The Beautiful Son and Beautiful baby Daughter, he loved it.

What book are you reading - The Lollipop Shoes by Joanne Harris

Favourite board game - Trivial Pursuit, I am really good at that one

Fave magazine - I like Red, Eve and Scarlet

Fave smell - Babies, Crabtree and Evelyn Noel, DKNY woman, Armani code men, freshly baked bread, lemons and laundry thats been dried outside in the fresh air, especially newly laundered sheets when you get into bed

Favourite sounds - absolute silence, my children laughing, the noise my phone makes when I get a text, The Killers, Scottish and Irish accents, The Edge's voice

Worst feeling in the world - unrequited love

First thing you think of in the morning - coffee

Fave fast food place - are you kidding me ? Starbucks of course, silly

Future childs name - unlikely to happen but it would have been Grace Stephanie for a girl and either Finlay or Ellis for a boy

Finish this statement " If I had a lot of money I'd..... travel the world, have better shoes, get my teeth staightened, and set up an orphanage and a school in Africa, I would so love to cuddle black babies all day long

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal - no, I am a grown up

Storms scary or cool - always cool

Fave drink - Lanson Rose champagne, Oyster Bay merlot, venti skinny latte, venti skinny coffee light frappucino, a pint of sparkling water after my run, coffee I didn't have to make myself

If you could die your hair any colour what would it be - prob black with fuschia tips

Name all the places you've lived - Glasgow, Edinburgh, Leicestershire and part time in Hisaronu, Turkey

Fave sports to watch - Scotland playing rugby, TBS's team playing rugby

Nice things about the person who tagged you - uberstylish, talented, thought provoking, creative - thy name is Alison

Would you want to be born as yourself again - no, I've done me, I'd like a new person please

Morning person or night owl - I'm an afternoon girl really

Favourite place to relax - oh easy, my terrace with the fabulous view of Babadag mountain in Turkey, anywhere in Scotland and in England either my bed or my sofa

Favourite ice cream flavour - rum and raisin


This meme is open to anyone that would like to have a go, I'd be interested to know your responses

Yesterday

Yesterday

I did have my hair cut, please see photo and tell me if you like the shortest hair I have had in years.

I demented Eldest Beautiful Daughter by making her take several photos of me as I want to get a wee picture of me beside my name when I comment, I still can't do that, please tell me how to.

I went to a hen night and was the most sober there by a gazillion miles ( and I had 3 glasses, you'll hear more of that later)

I sorted out a lovers tiff by making someone on the corresponding stag do, text his girlfriend ( I had to speak to him on the phone as I was the most sober one there)he had not told her he's arrived in Newcastle and she was feeling a bit teary and neglected.

I spent 45 minutes with a very tearful woman talking her out of ending it all, she tried to run out into the road and I had to get her back, poor poor thing she was so unhappy, mixed with shed loads of alcohol, lethal combination. I went to the loo and when I came back she was enthusiatically snogging some random bloke !

Even though I was the most sober one there, I agreed to join my marathon running friend and the bloke she runs with (he owns the restaurant we were in) in running the Berlin Marathon in 18 months time. Oh yes, I can stretch my 3 miles into 26, nae bother to your auntie, completely do able....

See what happens when I go out, Jesus, Mary and Holy Saint Joseph, I really am much better off at home, much less eventful.

Miss, I don't get it

Every bloody Wednesday afternoon, that's what I get from my year 13 A level group, the plaintive " Miss, I don't get it". I am truly stunned at the lack of depth these students have. I can only conclude, sadly, that either I was a 18 year old genius or exams are getting easier and teenagers are getting more stupid.

This module we are doing is on understanding human behaviour and we cover the big 6 theories of development. I have to teach Eysenck's Biological theory. I was telling them that he was a Jewish sympathiser who had to leave Germany due to the Nazis ( neatly linking in with Tajfel's social identity theory and Allport on prejudice and how it can lead to ethnic cleansing and genocide), I know, I know, you're riveted too. Then I get, quite seriously too....

" Miss, what's a Nazi ? "

There were 4 students in my group who had no idea what World War 2 was about, never heard of Auchwitz, Dachau or other concentration camps, no idea who Hitler was, just that they'd heard the name, no idea of Kristallnacht or the forced wearing of The Star of David, some didn't even know what it was. So before I could even start on old Hans and his theory, I had to do a diet lesson on WW2.

Now, Eysenck had a theory about personality, there's a test I had them do on line. I spent the whole lesson explaining words that included - dwell, brood, dominant, submissive, melancholy. That's the ones I can remember and then the killer question that flummoxed a 19 year old student

I respect authority

" Miss, I don't get it " to which I very sweetly replied " Of course, you don't sweetie, it's harder than colouring in isn't it ?"

If this student didn't have an offer of a university place, it wouldn't be so worrying.